Thursday, April 25, 2013

Shame induced by Society - Free to be Me

I came across an article this week on FaceBook. Mocking a Fat Person, its about a Fat girl who set up with a friend and had that friend take pictures of people looking at her. Its a really interesting article, its about how people look at a Fat person and feel entitled to make faces, say things, and or make gestures concerning " FATNESS".  There is over 200 comments, which are just as interesting to read.
Some of them include -"'Projection"   She is "projecting" what she thinks others are thinking about her."
Some go on tirades about how a fat person is unhealthy and delusional in thinking that she could not be even remotely or possibly happy or healthy being fat. ETC. ETC.

Personally, I have had people blantantly make fun of me, as i am a fat woman.
I have had my husband witness it, I have had my sister and her husband and my nieces and nephews witness it.  Old men have made gestures, young kids have laughed at me, group of young adult boys have said awful things to me. And i certainly was not projecting, I knew and anyone around me knew what they were referring to.
What always surprises me is that why do these people think they have the right to bully me?
When it has happened it has produced feelings of guilt and shame. Society has a lovely way of doing that.

This young woman has taken that shame and turned her response around to creatively starting a world wide web of conversation.

So i am going to talk about this. As a fat girl i have the right to be on this earth, much like a skinny girl, much like an Indian person who has dark skin. I have the  right to live and breathe the same air as anyone else.
Much like a grieving person, they have the right to grieve exactly as they need to, without shame, guilt, fear of judgement etc. People are people, they are different, individual and yet we ALL belong here.

Lets make a conscious decision together, ok?  Enjoy our differences, Embrace each other just as we are.
It will change your life, and it will change the world.

The above art piece was created by me, its called "Free to be Me" It was in an exhibit here in Ontario, celebrating the 100 annversary of the 'International Womens Day"
The curator told me a story of a class that made a trip to view the 100 paintings.
They were between the ages of 8-12. One little boy called the curator over and said someone had written on my painting. I don't think you can see it, but on her green shirt i wrote the word "BELLY", and painted an arrow pointing to her belly.
The reason i did this was to bring attention to an area that causes alot of shame for women. Our bellies.
Oh the shame of this eh?
We rock our babies on our bellies, our lovers lay their head on our belly after sweet lovemaking.
Our bodies are sacred, Every little or BIG part of them.
Lets promote love and honour for each other.
Its really important.


Monday, April 22, 2013

Collecting Loss

I wanted to take a moment to thank each of you who took the time to answer my questions around "Bereaved Parents Rights" I really appreciate your honesty and bravery.

Here is another way in which I continued to be a mama to my son, Andrew. See, I don't believe in closure, I don't believe because he died, i ceased to be his mother and i should just "get over him"
I do believe that my entire life and beyond i will be his mama. And in this big ole crazy world I finally got something right. Him.

I believe it was back in 2007, a call went out, I somehow found it, not really sure how, probably a link that someone posted but it was called "Collecting Loss"
Two wonderful ladies invited people to send in clothing from their deceased. They then took each piece of clothing and sewed it into something else, shirts, skirts, a teddy bear.

"This project is being created with the intentions to:
Preserve and honour memories;
Provide a visual and verbal gathering place for grief;
Explore change by weaving individual threads of cloth and story into shared fabric;
Offer healing, education and stimulation of dialogue around death of a loved one."
I sent in Andrews onesie.

It is now 2013 and the exhibit went live in Toronto 2012, I unfortunately was not able to attend.
Mike was going through exams and I could not go alone.
One of these days of will purchase the book, i just found out there was one.

Here is - Andrews onesie and a letter from me.
Here is - The official link
And here is the - Sharing my Story.
L. ANg

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Fairy Realm

I love anything to do with the Fairy Realm.

This card is again a celebration of a fairy and the enchantment of them.

Take a piece of watercolor paper, mix together some Blue and a wee bit of black, have a little army green on the side, I am talking about Watercolor paints.
Wet the entire piece of paper and drop in the colors of paints and while the paint is wet, sprinkle salt in the wet salt.
Let it dry and then rub the salt off.
The stamp the images using any kind of dark black pigment ink. I find it much darker.
Add a piece of ribbon . I just love to embellish cards. Add a small gold brad and a lovely layered card is born
Always remember to be enchanted by life, find wonderful moments to make you smile.

Art on my fairy friends,

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Discussion Time- Bereaved Parents Rights

Baby Andrew and his Mama holding hands
Oct 22, 2001
I am taking a certification online it is the  Creative Grief Coaching Certification. It is a course that is taught by  Experiential learning which is the process of making meaning from direct experience, i.e., "learning from experience".  In relation to that kind of learning a huge part of the whole process is Reflection, through the Refection, my own grief is being examined.
So lets start at the beginning, October 22, 2001 my son was born 22 wks gestation. He died shortly thereafter in my arms.
His name is Andrew Joseph.
Here I am 11 1/2 yrs later taking this course. A lot of learning, a lot of thinking, re-thinking and reflection is happening.

I am posting this discussion on my blog and I need your help. I hope to understand through the answers I receive to understand and know the fears or misconceptions or even truths that come from this discussion. Remember this is how you feel, the only thing I need from you is A. the truth and B. to be respectful, if someone post something that you do not agree with this is not forum for bitter arguing, it is the place for discussion and learning from each other.

 All over the world babies die at birth. Afterwards parents are stunned, shocked and grieving. When a baby dies gestationally 20 wks or more these parents are required by law to bury that baby, by cremation or burial.

Many forms of funerals happen or even no funeral happens.

This is my question.
What if the parents want to take the baby home?
I can think of several reasons.
Maybe to spend time with the baby alone, in a place of love and not a sterile hospital or a funeral home.
Maybe to have a home funeral.
Perhaps the parents want to take the baby home to meet pets.
Maybe to give the parents a time to parent that baby at home, to make memories and to soul connect without strangers around.
Maybe the funeral they want to create is non conventional, one they want to plan and to happen at home.

Dead babies do go home, for these reasons and many more.
It happens all over the world.
BUT in some places it is not happening, mostly because in the deepest darkest moments grieving parents don't even realize they can. Nurses, doctors,social workers, the ones who have been given the job of holding the hearts of grieving  parents do not recognize this as an option. So parents are never given the chance to make that decision. Fear fuels this.

How do you feel about moms and dads who want to take their baby home? Does this scare you? What are your fears? Concerns? Do you see this as an option that moms and dads should have?
Would you go to a home funeral?

I need to know what you are thinking. I am wanting to advocate for this and knowing what  discussions, thoughts and questions  that may come back at me. would help me tremendously.
Please be honest, please don't write what you think I want to hear. Write from your heart. I will hear you, and I will honour where you are, without judgement. Please be brave and help me.


Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Enchanted by the Moon.

HI! My project today is one of my favs, i made a whole card set which i will share my over my next few post.

The one today is

Pretty Moon and Fairy stamp, along with the Enchanted Stamp.

Here is the link to the "Fairy on Moon" and to "Enchanted".

The background was made using 140lb watercolour paper using ShinHan Tube Watercolous.

Using a wet brush cover the entire piece of paper, let it sit for just about 45 seconds and then dip your brush into the watercolour and begin dropping colour onto the paper. Letting the watercolour paints fluidly move and blend.
I then stamped my chosen stamps using Stazon Ink.
I then used my prisma coloured pencil to add shadows and colour to the card.

Honestly stamp art is easy, just have fun and play!
L. ANg